I'm a Racist - Hillary Fogerty, Ph.D

I'm a racist
, he says, all casual-
Like it doesn't matter.
I'm sorry
, i say, astonished-
because it does.
it isn't just
my president
he's talking about
, or the other people
in the room-
the white ones
, the black ones.
he's talking about
my family
my brother Craig
my Uncle Earl
my cousins-
my white black, Cherokee, mixed race cousins.
Well think how it was
, he says,
a skinny gay white boy like me
, in prison,
with all those black me
, who aren't having sex.
i don't answer.
I have a swastika tattooed on my ass
, he says,
by way of clarification.
i want to ask him
if he had it before prison,
if the mark of hatred bound him to his lvoers,
or if he'd had to explain it
to every man who sought to hold his naked body.
i want to ask him
if he got it in prison,
if the mark of hatred stopped potential rapists,
or if it had served to incite
every man who wanted to punish his pale body.
i want to ask him
, but i don't.
i promised this was a safe place
to be out,
to be honest
and it isn't his fault,
i thought he was a queen
, not a racist.